The Fitting In Room: From Hipster to Handsome

Men of the world, I implore you. I am up to my eyeballs in skinny jeans, weird frizzy and/or greasy mops, and kitschy facial hair. Your t-shirt is not ironic. And you look like you smell terrible. And what surprises me is that you expect to get laid in that. Because I know in your heart of hearts, you do not want to evoke the look of a well used Brill-O pad at an Olive Garden. In fact, I will promise you that your idea of a real man shares the same wardrobe as what a girl’s idea of a real man looks like:

Man.

Han Solo. That’s right. Your hero from the greatest science fiction motion picture that ever existed has the most fashionable, manliest, and desirable wardrobes that women are attracted to. You know – the women you want to sleep with.

Agreed, step one to this outfit is “Be insanely attractive like Harrison Ford”. But step two is something very simple – in fact, it’s to be simple: dress shirt, open vest, nice slacks.

There is another icon of manliness and style that Han Solo – space cowboy extraordinaire – probably took a cue from. It’s one of the most famous movie outlaws of all time, Butch Cassidy. I’m going to be cruel and show a picture of the criminally gorgeous Paul Newman next to a hipster – forgive me, Mr. Newman! I promise to buy your dressing!

Man.

Moth collecting virgin. AKA Hipster.

Notice that each are riding a bike but only one is using it as an accessory to enhance the fact that they are a hipster douche bag. In fact, I bet this hipster is looking at Newman and saying, “A bowler hat! Of course! That’s so chic! I have one of those I got from Goodwill that I got for the most ironic of reasons!”

And I hope Newman is asking, “Why do you have a knitted squash on your head, virgin hobo?”

Because that is exactly what I am asking.

Guys, hipsters, and all males who wish to bed women – please look at yourself before you put anything on your person for the sake of irony. Think about what you are trying to communicate to women. Are you trying to steal their purse or their heart? (Hint: Butch and Han could achieve both.)

Posted on June 28, 2010 at 03:11 by Neva Reese · Permalink
In: Fashion

8 Responses

Subscribe to comments via RSS

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Trisha Lynn, Geeking Out About. Geeking Out About said: The Fitting In Room: From Hipster to Handsome http://dlvr.it/25d2v […]

  2. Written by Kara Dennison
    on June 28, 2010 at 11:50
    Permalink

    Oddly, I think another sure-fire manly look is … a suit. No, really. Not a stuffy done-up perfectly ironed suit and tie, but something a little rougher that says 'I got up, decided to go out looking my best, then f*cked sh*t up and came home for a drink.' Partly-unbuttoned shirt and undone tie or lack thereof a plus.

    Perhaps I am alone in this.

  3. Written by Peg
    on June 28, 2010 at 14:52
    Permalink

    Kara, you are not alone. And I add – guys, do not be afraid of color in your shirts. I saw a man recently, wearing a purple shirt with a charcoal gray pinstripe suit, and it worked really *well* for him.

    Brightened up an otherwise conservative look, added some sophistication, and made him the most memorable man in the group, in a good way.

    Get a friend with style sense to tell you what colors look good on you, and then add those colors of shirts to your wardrobe. You too can become better remembered, in good ways.

  4. Written by Kara Dennison
    on June 28, 2010 at 16:13
    Permalink

    There's a reason suits have stayed in style for so long.

  5. Written by C J
    on June 28, 2010 at 16:26
    Permalink

    I tell this to my students all the time. Your pants down to your knees or wearing your sister's pants (I'm not making this up) will not get you a girl.

  6. Written by Trisha Lynn
    on June 29, 2010 at 05:27
    Permalink

    It has taken me all day to actually give a thought to this, mostly because I'm torn. On one hand, you have the awesomeness of a crisp, clean suit as worn by hotties like Neil Patrick Harris in “How I Met Your Mother” and of course, James Bond himself. OTOH, the awesomeness of a rumpled suit means that its wearer is also a man of action, or a man who doesn't mind getting his hands dirty a bit, that he's okay not looking completely perfect and wouldn't expect you to look perfect all the time either.

    I am so torn!

  7. Written by Kara Dennison
    on June 29, 2010 at 14:04
    Permalink

    I think the former will suit (erm) a wide variety of guys — and yeah, NPH is definitely one of the ones who can rock that. The latter needs a certain attitude/bearing to go with it. There are some gents who, rather than cleaning up nice, 'rough up' nice. I think any sort of true appreciation for that as a legitimate fashion choice is relatively recent — past few years, maybe.

    But as Neva says above … it's really not that difficult, guys. The Han Solo/Butch Cassidy look is not exactly tough or expensive to put together, and I can't think of many guys it wouldn't work on.

  8. Written by Jillers
    on June 29, 2010 at 15:32
    Permalink

    I'm personally torn for far different reasons – I like the hipster look on guys who are not hipsters. And it's very hard to explain the difference except that on a hipster, that looks like a costume. On someone who isn't a hipster (though they are not innocent as they help inspire this stupid hipster trend) it just looks natural.

    So bottom line is everyone should feel free to wear what they want to wear, not wear what they think looks cool, because not every trend works on every person. Just let it pass. Stop being the new Beatniks. They were annoying too.

Subscribe to comments via RSS